The Distance

I knew the moment you slipped through my fingers

I watched you slip away,the memory lingers

I took something from us,

Too much to reimburse

All you wished was to spend more time with me

You never said you were complete without me

I kept on increasing the distance between us

You were hurt,I wanted what we had to turn to dust

A ring would pierce the deaf silence in the air

I would know that you would call ,this distance you cannot bear

The day came when you found someone

I was powerless,the past could not be undone

Now I’m all alone

I just keep staring at the phone

I don’t regret it

As I have to keep this secret

I pick up phone to tell you everyday I cry

I keep it back,afraid my heart lets out that tomorrow I might die.

The Gruff Cough

When your dear blames u,
and you realise it is true.

Your heart aches as u accept it,
throat clogged you decide, no more shall you lit and this time you shall quit.

You start to end it for their sake,
and just when you stop you are about to break.

Its not your cup of tea is what you think,
you do not realise you shall fall as you are on the brink

You keep having one last puff,
until you cough reveals your bluff.

When things become serious you come to your senses,
you take one step at a time slowly mending fences.

Don’t just cover it up, fill the hole you dug on your own

Watch your step, or you may find yourself all alone..

The Fading Flower

They fancy that I linger and flourish when the time is right.
But do they realize I’m wilting inside?

I droop in wintry nights.
I wait for summer’s light.

They want me to be content with what I get.
Do they know I’m vacant within and naught is left?

In autumn I may die.
Through rain I’ll try to survive.

I'm drained, desiccated and faded,
The blowing winds rendered me jaded.

Droughts make me seek out darkness,
a single drop in sky.
In floods I drench.
I’m trying, I’m dying. Can you hear me cry?

The Hidden Coffer

Locked n masked in your heart's depth is a casket.

You refuse to unbolt it lest it discloses no jewel but your dark secret.

You once allowed me to look inside.

Reminded me of my own secret I meant to hide.

The poignant memories kept in my mind were akin to thine.

Both started from solitary entity and stretched to an eternal line

The chest contains qualms, remorse and guilt.

The mountain of hatred and regret is self built.

When one comprehends this he’s ready to unlock the chest.

Pay heed to my words “then starts the true test.”

Fatal Blunder

I’d prefer to dwell in darkness

Its better this way

It veils my faults

Keeps everything dark and grey

I hate mornings and light

Dour nights no longer give me a fright

Dawn shows me stark reality

Strikes within me a feeling of self pity

I want to melt in crowds

I hate standing out

I’ve seen fingers pointing towards me

I’m suffering enough can they not see?

Every dawn I surrender to sleep

To find myself on a cliff’s edge too steep

To realize I can’t take a step ahead

I can’t drown in darkness of my death bed

I wish I had the power to reverse time

To wash the murder off my hands and undo the crime

The anguish and ache I feel

Comes out in stifled cries

A single tear escapes my weary eyes

If only

If only I hadn’t thought my friend took away what was mine

I would not be awaiting my own decline

I can never forget that fateful night

I ran my blade through her heart there was no fight

Just a cursed calm

A crumpled paper lay in her palm

My daughter had decided to die

She forfeited to death than live a lie

She was crippled and was in pain

My friend’s efforts to stop her went in vain

What my eyes had shown me was a delusion

My daughter’s blood was her own submission

My friend was innocent of my daughter’s murder

Alas! A fatal blunder

Empty walls

My heart pours out in silence, a feeling not new.

Grief and sorrow from my sore heart dripping as dew

In the silence of the night, anguished cries echo in my bedroom

My nightmares filled me with agony, my soul in gloom.

In the day, still devoid of light

I search for a hand to bring back my sight.

Sucking from me of all the happiness, I look on the empty wall.

They speak to me of this dark winter after my wretched fall.

When did light disappear, I ask the wall.

The answer echoes in the empty room, 'when I left them all.'

In a flash comes back my memory, the day I left my family.

Asinine spat it was, but took away my ecstasy.

Refills me with pleasure, the remnants of our days together

The bright shadows of my past haunt my days forever.

To turn back the time I try everything I could,

If only I had done what I should.

Seeking utopia

I have been disappointed once again

A hundred times I have felt this pain

I feel deluded, exploited & treated like dirt

It’s heart-rending to see myself turn to others to seek comfort

I have been deserted, I have nowhere to go. I'm in a trance

I forget & forgive, always concede a new chance

I have felt the warmth of friendship once before,

But that source is here no more

It’s impossible to erase those memories from my head

Maybe that’s why I have set standards none can tread

Can I have essence of familiarity I had once found?

Or am I with my loneliness forever bound?

I’ll roam till eternity

Till eternity seeks my mortality

Till mortality forfeits

Forfeits when it finds out I have a heart which no longer beats….